Thursday, 3 May 2012
Top 10 questions Americans have for New Zealanders
10: American: "Oh that's Lord of the Rings, isn't it"?
Me: "Yeah it's beautiful. Elves and hobbits and waterfalls. It's just like in the movies".
9: American: "Isn't New Zealand part of Australia"?
Me: "No. We're kind of like Australians but (slightly) better behaved and we don't gamble as much".
8: American: "Didn't you have that big bird the Moa? But it got eaten and went extinct"?
Me: "Yeah. Shameful day in New Zealand's history books".
American: "What happened"?
Me: "The bloody elves ate them".
7: American: "Do you have reservations"?
Me: "Yeah but we have elections every three years so I can change my mind the next time I vote".
6: American: "No I mean reservations for natives"?
Me: "We have Whangamomona. Every two years Whangamomona holds a republic day which is a festival with gumboot throwing contests, country music and the natives pack out the pubs/bars.
American. "Ahhh Like Texas".
5: American: "I heard randomly that you say "sorry" a lot".
Me: "Yeah. Yous guys say, "excuse me" in some cases where we say "sorry". The rest of the time we say either, "sorry", or, "Thenk you", when we can't think of what else to say". "This has led to our reputation of being one of the Worlds most nicest politest nations".
American: "Ahh. Excuse me".
4:American: "Who's your president"?
Me: "Helen Clark".
American: "I thought it was That Guy"?
Me " You mean John Key. Nahh. He's just the Prime Minister. Helen Clark runs everything. She used to be the Prime Minister but now she's the President".
3: American: "What? Like Putin? But how can that happen"?
Me: " I dunno. We're all so polite no one questioned it, it just happened."
2:. American: "I've heard a few sheep jokes".
Me: "So have I".
And the number one question that Americans have for New Zealanders:
1: American: "Are you from England"?
Me: "No, I'm from Noo Ziland".